a day i cried

blogs could be a window to let emotions out. i really don't want my blog to be that way all the time, but today i am very sad because i pushed a button which i'm not supposed to push.

i was taking a nap in this rainy afternoon. "ugh, i'm not gonna get out from bed" kind of day.

my mom came and woke me up, but she laid next to me on my futon. i said, "you need to motivate me in order to make me get up." we laid for a while, and she asked me about a stuffed teddy bear which was sitting on a shelf.

the bear spoke, well not any more after i pushed the wrong button today. when i pushed his right arm he used to said, "aishiteru ("i love you" in japanese) he------hehehehe fufufufu ahahaha." in my dear friend safe's voice with his usual humor.

safe has recorded this "i love you" message to this bear and gave it to me when we graduated college. i brought him to ny when i moved, and i pushed the right button once in a while. listeing to his voice just made me smile.

i accidentally pushed his left arm today which safe had tied a red bow so that i know which NOT to push. i pushed a button to delete old message and record new one. now the bear does not say "i love you."

someday the battery would have run out, but i am very sad that the message is gone.

i held him and laid on my futon for 10 minutes like i mourned for the message. i cried.