attending a wedding =$600

"japan is so expensive." many people had said to me, and i agree in the most part.
i'd like to talk about "going broke after attending a few weddings in japan." today.

my cousin's wedding is coming up in less than a month. a cousin i haven't talked for a few years.
simply yanagawa family does not have close tie among each other. one day in september, an invitation to the wedding came in a mail. here comes the battle between reality and formality.

in japan you are taking cash with you instead of a gift.
i am listing up the gift money etiquette/common sense.

1. even number is a taboo.
even number is easy to split into half so no good. so you can take $300, but not $200 nor 400.
2. your age and a relationship between the bride/groom.
~student: $100 + 100
20~25 : $300
25~: more than $300
uncle&aunt: $500 + $500
3. venue
if the venue is high end. you pay more. attending = getting a course meal

so here is the general cost calculation for a wedding, of course as a guest.
$100(transportation fee) + $300(gift money) + $100 (for make up and hair) + $100 (dress) = $600

often, the relationship between you and the groom or the bride does not worth spending this much. i've got invited by a friend who i went to a junior high, and we had not talked.

with a light pressure from my mom and sister, i'd agreed to attend the wedding. my parents said they are paying $1,200. wtf. a nephew who they don't really communicate. people do say that the money you spend will come back to you. i believe that this isn't applicable to me.

i probably don't hesitate this much if the relationship between the cousin and i are different from what we have. but he is just a stranger to me.

another train pass, a tube of tooth paste, a bottle of shampoo...

whenever i face a necessity of buying new daily use items, this line pops up in my mind.

"how long am i going to be here?"

should i get the larger value pack or the small "will be used in a short time" one?

my dilemma.

what is new york?

this entry isn't about a craziness in japan.
this is what happened last night.

my wall is really thin, and i can hear people talk and cars rumble from the street.
last night, i turned the light off, laid down, and closed my eyes.
thinking... things which i've been thinking lately.

and i heard THAT song from someone's probably an ipod.

"Empire State of Mind" and that exact part.
"in new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made oh ...."

i smiled with bitterness. really. i don't say this often. but wtf.

new york is ruining my life.
my mom once said to me. "it's important to know how to give up."
many others said to me. "your dream will come true if you keep wishing."
it's agonizing and eating me up badly.

well fortunately there are things which keep me going still. like neil's godly e-mails (they come in great timings), some books by paulo coelho(great books when you are lost in different ways), and my creativity. i think i'm still good if i have these powerful things to push me. cheers to myself!